I have a love/hate relationship with lipstick, namely I love it on others, hate it on me. Or at least, I have done for most of my adult life. This has been No Bad Thing for someone whose default style setting is an attempted Brigitte Bardot – all eyes, no lips. But I actually quite fancy the thought of myself in a bit of lippy (it’s a wonderful world I’m missing out on, admittedly), and just like I’m doing my absolute bestest not to yell at spiders and scratch my skin off at the sight of the little bastards, I have been exorcising my lipstick phobia, too. I can’t pin down exactly when or where it began but I do know it’s deeply rooted in some darkly Freudian and complex mother issues (see also flesh-coloured tights and cheap Nescafé-scented coffee mornings).

Enter Perricone MD’s new No Lipstick Lipstick – a product that unapologetically panders to my fears, but one that also keeps lips fully plumped up, nourished, and looking their naked best. Available in three barely-there shades that mimic your lips’ natural hue, this clever little lippy is formulated with neuropeptides, which is said to restore suppleness and fullness while providing moisture, nourishment and a mineral-based broad spectrum SPF 15. The proof’s in the pout, baby! I might just build up to a pillar box red. Baby steps and all that…

£25 each, or £49 for a gift set of all three